


Please Love Me

by TwilightSiren



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Affection, Angst, Childhood Friends, Crying, First Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pain, Sad and Happy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24771742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightSiren/pseuds/TwilightSiren
Summary: Jihoon isn't one to begBut, after this many years of pining over SeungcheolHe can't help, but beg for him to love him
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Please Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I have a Kpop ship that I've never written before for you all today. I am a huge fan of SEVENTEEN and one of my favorite ships from this group is Jicheol. Of course, if you don't already know, I have a few unrequited love stories and this one is one of them. So, it's Jicheol, but not. The other members are in this and it's from my lovely bias's Woozi's POV. I don't have much else to say, so let's get into it.

Seungcheol is Jihoon's first. His first everything. The first friend he made. He was with Seungcheol on his first day of school. He lost his first tooth from an apple that Seungcheol had given him. His first broken bone was from tripping when chasing Seungcheol. The first argument he had was with Seungcheol over something stupid. The first time he went on a vacation was with Seungcheol and his family. The first time he cooked was with Seungcheol. The first time he drove a car was with Seungcheol in the passenger seat cheering him on. The first time he went on a rollercoaster was with Seungcheol gripping his hands. His first dance was with Seungcheol. His first hug was from Seungcheol. His first kiss was from Seungcheol. His first love. It was Seungcheol. It still is Seungcheol. Jihoon noticed when he felt the urge to punch a girl who was flirting with his hyung. They were in high school and Jihoon had no idea why he was feeling that way. It took him a while and after many more encounters of jealousy, he came to realize that he liked Seungcheol. He soon realized that he's liked his childhood friend for a long, long time. And those feelings only grew as time went on. Jihoon had hid his feelings, more fearful of losing Seungcheol than anything else. It wasn't like he had any reason to confess. Seungcheol never seemed interested in anyone that flirted with him or asked him out. He always turned them down. It had given Jihoon hope. Hope that Seungcheol may actually like him too and was just waiting to tell him. But, of course, it was just hope. That fickle thing that couldn't be depended on. Jihoon's first heartbreak was from Seungcheol. From that first day in college. When he introduced his roommate, Jeonghan, to Jihoon and looked at the angelic man with heart eyes. It was the same look that Jihoon would give to his inattentive crush. It was the same look that Jeonghan flashed back to Seungcheol. 

⊱ ────── {⋆⌘⋆} ────── ⊰

Jihoon and Seungcheol tackled everything side by side. That was no different when it came to college. Seungcheol had gone first and Jihoon had applied to the same college. In Jihoon's mind, college with Seungcheol was going to be the same as high school, but when he had gotten there it wasn't even close. He had thought that Seungcheol and him would move out of the dorms and invest in an apartment, but the older seemed attached to the college dorms. Or maybe he was just attached to the boy sleeping next to him. So, Jihoon relented and got himself a dorm. He became roommates with Jeon Wonwoo, who happened to be friends with Seungcheol. From there, Seungcheol and Jeonghan's friend groups collided. Jihoon didn't mind. It really wasn't a big deal. The only issue he had was that every time they hung out, Seungcheol would be by Jeonghan's side. He would still speak to Jihoon and joke around about old times, but his attentions were almost always on Jeonghan. The others found it funny and began to joke that they were the parents of the group. Jihoon forced himself to laugh even though it tore him to pieces inside. He couldn't do anything except watch as Seungcheol flirted with Jeonghan, who didn't hesitate to flirt back. It hurt more than anything. Jihoon has fallen and burned himself and broken bones before. But, this pain is unlike any other. It feels like someone is stabbing his heart and ripping it from his body slowly. It feels like tiny cuts are being made deep in his chest. Like a bullet being shot into him and then pulled out and shot again. It felt like he was losing to someone. But, he couldn't be mad at that person because they got the best prize. It's his own fault for not even trying to win. Jihoon started to distance himself from the group. Not wanting to go through that endless pain of seeing Seungcheol with someone that isn't him. He didn't have many other friends, but he somehow attracted the attention of a sunflower and a puppy in his junior year. They introduced him to their group of friends who managed to bring a smile to Jihoon's face. They were young, but they treated Jihoon right. They loved their hyung and didn't hesitate to make their affections clear. Although he did find them a bit much at times, he really did appreciate their care. They helped him to forget the pain of his unrequited love. Seungcheol was the one who convinced him to introduce the kids to the group. His crush was sad that he didn't get to see Jihoon often and suggested that by combining the groups it would be a win-win situation. Jihoon couldn't say no, especially when Seungcheol looked at him with those pleading eyes. He had crumbled and introduced the kids to the group. They had clicked and became a group of thirteen. Jihoon felt as he was slowly losing it, now that every single one of his friends began to refer to Seungcheol and Jeonghan as dad and mom. He had to work ten times as hard to hide his feelings. To hide the pain he experienced each time he so much as glanced at Seungcheol and Jeonghan. No one could know. They didn't have to know about the way his heart yearned for Seungcheol even years after he first discovered his crush. They can stay oblivious to the fact that Seungcheol is Jihoon's first and only love. They can't know how much Jihoon despises Jeonghan for existing even though the man is his friend. No one can know how it tears him to pieces each and every day. How he feels like his entire being is shattering like glass every time Seungcheol reaches out for Jeonghan's hand. They can't find out about his sleepless nights where he sits on the floor and cries. Cries until his eyes are dry and screams until his throat is raw. His entire body being filled with this endless pain and suffering. Something he bottles away, so that no one realizes the truth. 

⊱ ────── {⋆⌘⋆} ────── ⊰

It was Seungcheol's birthday and the group decided to go out for a nice meal to celebrate. The boys ate and drank to their content. Laughter and loud voices filling the restaurant. Jihoon kept an eye on Seungcheol, who has had a smile on his face the entire night. Jihoon had spent weeks musing over a gift to give to his crush. He wanted to get him something meaningful and something that would sort of reveal his feelings, but at the same time not. He finally came up with something that wasn't too obvious, at least not obvious enough for Seungcheol to ever realize it unless he's looking. Jihoon's hand encloses around a box in his pocket. There's a watch inside with an engraving on the back that said Jihoon x Seungcheol. It was small and something that Seungcheol would probably never notice. But, it settled Jihoon's heart in some way. To know that he will almost, sort of, confess. When gift time came, Jihoon waited. He is still a tad bit hesitant, knowing that there is a chance that Seungcheol may see the engraving right away. So, he let the others go first. Giving their gifts to their hyung. They were all nice and thoughtful gifts, but Jeonghan's was the one that knocked Jihoon off kilter. "This is my gift," Jeonghan said. He grabs onto the sides of Seungcheol's cheeks and tilts his head to face him. The man places his lips onto Seungcheol's and kisses him. Seungcheol hand instinctively moves to the back of Jeonghan's head and he kisses the man back. Their friends all cheer and whoop as the two men continue to kiss. Jihoon feels his blood run cold and his heart tear into two. He feels like the quick, useless stitching he's done to keep his heart intact finally fail. The pieces sink to his stomach and the entire world tilts. When the two pull apart there is love in their eyes. Jihoon feels sick and he immediately shoots up from his seat. "I'm paying for the meal!" Jihoon exclaims, quickly leaving the table and heading to the front. The others cheer at his words, knowing that they have spent a lot of money on food. Jihoon lets out a shaky breath as he hands the lady his credit card. He reaches into his other pocket and takes out the box. He cracks it open and stares at his reflection in the face of his watch. His face is stoic, but he can see it slowly cracking. He shakes his head and places the box on the counter. The lady hands him a pen and receipt. He quickly signs it before taking back his credit card and rushing towards the bathroom. He makes a beeline towards the sink and splashes water onto his face. He places a hand over his aching heart and tries to calm himself down. He can feel the tears building up in his eyes and the sorrow threatening to spill from him. "Calm down, calm down," Jihoon says to himself, his voice cracking as he repeats the mantra again and again. It takes a while, but Jihoon is able to regain himself and he leaves the bathroom. He goes to the table and is surprised to find it empty. He sighs before heading towards the exit. "Jihoon-ah," Seungkwan says in a somber tone when he walks out of the restaurant. Jihoon frowns when he sees the saddened looks of the maknaes looking at him. "What?" Jihoon asks, "What's with those looks on your faces?" 

"This," Mingyu says, holding up an open box with a watch inside. Jihoon's eyes widen, recognizing it instantly. "What about it?" Jihoon shrugs, trying to play it off as if it's nothing. 

"You don't need to pretend anymore, hyung," Chan says, "We know."

"Know what?" Jihoon questions.

Seokmin sighs, "That you like Seungcheol hyung." Jihoon's eyes dart back and forth, afraid that Seungcheol could still be nearby. "Don't worry. They left," Seungkwan says, "We're the only ones here." Jihoon sighs and lets his head fall, thankful that his crush isn't here and pondering what his younger friends could be thinking of him right now. They must find him pitiful. "How did you find out?" Jihoon asks, "Was it the watch?"

Minghao shakes his head, "We're not blind. We saw how you looked at him. How you looked when Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung would flirt and stuff."

"The watch just sort of proved that our hunch was right," Hansol says.

Jihoon lets out an amused laugh, "Great. Guess I'm not as slick as I thought I was. You probably think I'm pathetic."

"Why would we think that?" Seokmin asks. 

Jihoon shrugs, "I'm pining after someone I don't even have a chance with..."

"So, what?" Minghao asks, "You're not pathetic for liking someone. It's natural. Why would we ever see you like that?"

"Cause, I feel pretty pathetic," Jihoon mutters. 

"You're not," Mingyu says, "You're really cool, hyung."

"Thanks, Mingyu," Jihoon huffs, still not truly believing it. He knows he stands no chance. He knows that he's just causing himself more pain by not letting Seungcheol go. But, he can't bring himself to forget about his love for the boy. "How long?" Seungkwan asks. 

"Since I've known him," Jihoon answers. 

"Since you were kids?" Hansol questions. Jihoon nods and lets out a sigh. "Why haven't you told him?" Minghao asks.

"I fear rejection, but I fear losing his friendship more," Jihoon says, "However stereotypical it may be, his friendship means more to me than being with him." 

"You're in pain," Seungkwan states, looking at his friend. Jihoon's face doesn't look right. There's like a flood of emotions being blocked off by Jihoon's composure, but it's wavering and Seungkwan notices. Jihoon sighs, "Yeah. Bound to hurt when the person you love doesn't love you back."

"How come you never told us?" Chan asks.

Jihoon frowns, "I didn't want Seungcheol to find out. That's why I kept it to myself. If I told Jisoo, he would've told Jeonghan. They're best friends. I can't trust Jun or Soonyoung to not just let it slip. And Wonwoo is closer to Seungcheol then me, even if we're roommates...and I don't know why I didn't tell you guys. If I were to tell anyone it would be you six. I trust you guys the most..."

"Aw, hyung," Seokmin beams, "We promise we won't tell anyone, so you don't need to worry, but you need to come to us if you need anything."

"We're here for you to lean on," Hansol states, "You don't need to hide with us." Jihoon looks to his friends, who all look back at him with reassuring expressions on their faces. It calms Jihoon to know that these six have his back. "Thank you," Jihoon says, "I mean it...thank you..."

"Of course, hyung," Mingyu says, "If you don't mind me asking, why haven't you confessed?"

"Jeonghan," Jihoon says simply. 

"They're not together, hyung," Seungkwan states.

"They might as well be," Jihoon says, wringing his hands together, "I see the way they look at each other. The way they flirt. They may not be official, but it's clear they like each other. Seungcheol has never looked at me like he looks at Jeonghan."

"You never know," Chan states, "You could be happily surprised."

"Or rejected like I think I'll be," Jihoon says, "I know Seungcheol. He doesn't like me. Not in the way I like him." 

"Not to be rude, by why haven't you moved on?" Minghao asks, "It's been years since you first fell in love. Are you still that in love with him?"

"I wonder about that myself sometimes, but I know I am. My love for him hasn't stopped or wavered. If anything it's gotten stronger," Jihoon says, "And it sucks. I've tried to move on, but I can't. No one is Seungcheol."

"Do you want to move on?" Seungkwan asks, "Maybe, that's why you can't." Jihoon opens his mouth to answer, but closes it a second later. Does he want to move on? Seungcheol is his first love and he knows firsts are special, but they aren't everything. There's more than just a first, but Jihoon has never really considered another love. He's always seen Seungcheol as his one and only. No one has been able to make his heart skip like him. No one has ever made Jihoon feel at home like Choi Seungcheol. No one has been able to fill him with love and pain at the same time. To fill his every thoughts. To make him wonder about the future. No one but Seungcheol has done that. Is the reason he can't move on because of himself? Because he's just too hooked on Seungcheol? Too addicted to loving him? Jihoon doesn't know. He really doesn't know. The group falls silent, waiting for Jihoon to say something, but the boy doesn't answer. Seungkwan frowns, wondering what could be going on in his hyung's head. "Were you going to give this to Seungcheol hyung?" Mingyu asks, breaking the silence and snapping Jihoon from his thoughts. The watch still sits in Mingyu's hand and Jihoon avoids looking at it like it's a huge bug. "Yeah," Jihoon mutters.

"He would've loved it. Why didn't you give it to him?" Hansol asks.

Jihoon shakes his head, "I couldn't. How could I after Jeonghan's gift?" Suddenly, the events of the night start to catch up with him. The image of Seungcheol and Jeonghan kissing hits him like a battering ram. Jihoon struggles to keep his composure, but fails. The emotions he tried burying in the bathroom flood him. He chokes on a sob as tears start to stream from his eyes. His body shakes and his hand quiver as he wipes at the tears. Mingyu steps towards him and wraps his arms around Jihoon's small form. Jihoon sobs into Mingyu's chest and Seungkwan coos, gently patting Jihoon's head. Normally, Jihoon would slap the younger, but he can't bring himself to do anything except for accept the comforting arms of his dongsaengs. 

⊱ ────── {⋆⌘⋆} ────── ⊰

Jihoon sighs as Seungcheol and Jeonghan walk into the cafe hand in hand. Mingyu nudges Jihoon, who glances at the taller. Mingyu smiles at Jihoon and pushes a cup of coffee closer to the boy. "Thanks, Gyu," Jihoon murmurs, lifting up the cup and sipping from it. The group had gathered at a cafe to get something to drink and hang out. Jihoon came early alongside Mingyu and Chan. After Jihoon revealed the truth, the kids of the group stuck alongside him. They distracted him whenever Seungcheol and Jeonghan would be nearby. It has helped a lot. Jihoon's heart felt a little lighter whenever the group hung out and his nights have been quieter thanks to them. "You two look close," Soonyoung teases as Seungcheol and Jeonghan sit down. Jihoon eyes the couple even as Seokmin tries to take his attention away by poking him. Seungcheol's face is pink and scratches the back of his neck, "About that..."

"We're dating," Jeonghan says, holding their linked hands up. The man smiles at Seungcheol, who returns the look with a grin of his own. Jihoon's blood runs cold and he drops the cup in his hand. It clatters and the liquid inside spills. The others all turn to stare at Jihoon, whose eyes dart back and forth, trying to process it all. "Oh, Jihoon hyung, you're so clumsy!" Seungkwan exclaims, grabbing napkins and soaking up the spill. The young man chuckles nervously as the attention shifts to him. "Sorry," Jihoon mutters before standing from his seat and rushing towards the exit. The group watch as their friend darts out of the cafe. Seungkwan flashes a look at Hansol and Mingyu. The two get to their feet and nod their heads, understanding what Seungkwan wants them to do. "We're going to talk to him," Hansol says. 

"He probably just spilled some coffee on himself and got a bit embarrassed," Mingyu says with a grin. The two walk out of the cafe and instantly see Jihoon leaning against the side of the building. His head is hung low and tears steadily drip from his face. "Hyung," Mingyu murmurs. 

Jihoon sniffles and wipes at his cheeks, "Hi..." 

"Are you okay?" Hansol asks.

Jihoon nods, "Yeah...I am...just hurts...you know..."

"I'm sorry, hyung," Mingyu says.

"Don't be. It's not your fault," Jihoon says, "It's mine."

"Hyung," Hansol says, "It isn't..."

"It is," Jihoon says, "Seungkwan was right. I wasn't ready to let him go. I didn't want to, but now...now I have to. I can't keep this up. Not when he's with him..."

"Are you sure about this, hyung?" Mingyu asks.

Jihoon takes a deep breath, "Yeah...no...I don't know...I just need to do something. I can't be in love with him for the rest of my life..." 

"You should confess then," Seungkwan states, standing by the doorway, "You've kept it inside for so long. If you really want to let it go, you should let it all out..." Jihoon nods his head before letting out another sob, thankful as Mingyu pulls him into a hug again. 

⊱ ────── {⋆⌘⋆} ────── ⊰

Jihoon's palms feel sweaty and his heart thumps in his chest as he stares at the door in front of him. He has got to do this, but it doesn't make his nerves quell in the slightest. "You got this, Jihoon hyung!" Seokmin whisper-shouts from where the other kids and he stand a couple of feet away. Jihoon flashes him a smile before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door. Not even a second after, the door is opened by Seungcheol. The man flashes him a bright smile, "Hi, Hoonie."

"Hey," Jihoon murmurs, "Is Jeonghan inside?"

Seungcheol nods his head, "Why?"

"Can we talk outside?" Jihoon asks. Seungcheol looks at him with curiosity before nodding his head. Seungcheol steps out and closes the door behind him. He faces Jihoon, who is still nervous, "What's up?" 

"I need to tell you something," Jihoon says, "And you can't interrupt. You just need to listen and not say anything."

"What is this about?" Seungcheol asks, "Hoonie, you're worrying-." Jihoon holds his hand up to stop the older from speaking anymore. "Don't interrupt," Jihoon states. Seungcheol sighs and nods his head, giving the boy his full attention. "I'm only saying this cause they think it will help me. Cause...I've been hung up on this for a long time. And now...now it's time for me to let it all go. It's better this way, so that you can be happy with Jeonghan and I can keep living. Without the pain..." Jihoon says, "I like you. And not just like a friend like you. I like, like you. I love you, Seungcheol. I love you. You're the first person I've ever loved and I've loved you since forever. And it was fine, loving you without you knowing. Until we got to college...and you met Jeonghan and you loved him. And that's when my entire world crashed. When the hurt started and I spiraled. Loving you brought me pain. So much pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me again and again and again. Right into my heart, every time I saw the two of you. But, I pushed the pain away. Cause I didn't want anyone to see. I bottled it up until I would be alone at home and then I would cry. I would scream and let it all out. Until my entire body felt numb and empty. It was better than the pain of unrequited love. It was the only way for me to cope with it. The never ending heartbreak. The aching that filled my entire being. There was this one time where I cried until the sun rose. There was this other time that I passed out. And a couple of nights ago, before you had revealed that you were with Jeonghan...I prayed. I begged. I asked why. Why didn't you love me? Why do you like him but not me? Why did something like this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be the unloved one? Why does loving someone hurt so much? Why is it that the only memories I have about love are painful ones? And then I started to beg for another chance. For you to maybe have some realization that you loved me...even though it's impossible. I begged you. Even though you would never hear me. Please...for once look at me the way I look at you. Please give me a chance. Please love me. Please, please, please love me. That's the first time I ever did that. And I don't want to do it ever again. I know that you'll never like me. We're not meant to be no matter how much I want us to be. I'm telling you this so I can finally take the steps to move on. So, don't feel bad for not knowing. For not liking me back and causing me so much pain. None of it's your fault. So, please don't blame yourself. Please continue loving Jeonghan. Please be happy with him. The same way I will hopefully be when I can finally let my love for you go." Seungcheol blinks and stares at Jihoon, not knowing what to say. Jihoon lets out a shaky breath before flashing his friend a small smile. He slowly turns away, not waiting for Seungcheol to say anything back to him. He quickly walks over to where he knows his friends are, tears already building up in his eyes. When Jihoon spots his friends' concerned expressions, he crumbles. He drops onto his knees and lets out a strangled sob. Tears flow down his cheeks and he grabs at his shirt. Jihoon wants to move on, but it isn't something that will happen in a day. He's taking the steps and that's what matters, but it doesn't make confessing any easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Wah, this hurt my Jicheol heart. Next time, I need to write a happy Jicheol one-shot. Let me know if you want to see a less sad Jicheol one-shot. Thank the gods for the SVT maknae line taking care of their Jihoon hyung. I know he'll be okay cause he has them. I hope that you still enjoyed this one-shot even though it wasn't exactly a happy ending. If you did please comment and please check out my new story, Collision Course on Wattpad. Have a great rest of your day, my lovely readers! 


End file.
